Satisfying Love Relationships: How to Build a Secure Attachment

Attachment Styles,Couples Counseling NYC,Emotionally focused therapy,Secure Attachment,Travis Atkinson

Satisfying Love Relationships: How to Build a Secure Attachment

Table of Contents

Attachment theory is a psychological model that describes how people develop emotional attachments to others. For example, when you feel protected, seen, and supported by your partner, you have a secure attachment. How we connect with our partners is part of what helps us feel satisfied in our marriages and love relationships.

What is secure attachment, and how can having this dynamic help you and your partner in your marriage or love relationship? How can couples therapy in New York City at Loving at Your Best help you and your partner get closer to this ideal model? 

What is secure attachment?

A secure attachment is a bond between partners founded on trust, safety, and emotional connection. Partners feel safe in their relationship and are confident that their partner will be physically and emotionally available for them.

A partner who has a secure attachment feels comfortable sharing their emotions, desires and needs with their partner. They also trust that they’ll get emotional support and be backed up by their partner when needed.

How can you work towards a secure attachment in your marriage or love relationship?

How does secure attachment fit into couples therapy?

Couples therapy helps partners to work through problems and improve their marriage. At Loving at Your Best Marriage and Couples Counseling, we use secure attachment as a model to help partners in a marriage or love relationship create more satisfying and healthier relationships.

The first step our therapists use with partners in couples therapy using secure attachment is to identify both partners’ attachment styles. Attachment patterns include secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized styles. We help partners accurately recognize their attachment styles so that we understand how each partner interacts with the other.

After identifying the attachment styles, our therapist can work with each partner to develop a more secure attachment bond using a variety of methods, including:

Communication: In any relationship, how partners talk is essential. Secure attachment couples communicate comfortably and honestly without fear of judgment or rejection. Our therapist can help partners improve their communication skills by teaching them to listen empathically, express their emotions clearly, and avoid blaming and criticizing one another.

Emotional help: Another necessary component of secure attachment is emotional support. In a secure attachment, partners mentally support each other by giving comfort, reassurance, and validation. By encouraging partners to be empathetic, validating, and supportive of each other’s emotions, our therapist can help the couple enhance their emotional support.

Trust is an essential component of secure attachment. Partners in a secure attachment trust each other to be physically and mentally present for them. Our therapists can help partners develop confidence by encouraging them to be dependable, consistent, and accountable to one another.

What are the advantages of having a secure attachment in a marriage?

 A marriage can benefit tremendously from modeling characteristics of a secure attachment style. Some of the advantages that can help couples include the following: 

Emotional intimacy: Secure attachment couples are more emotionally intimate, which means they share their more vulnerable emotions. This emotional intimacy and vulnerability strengthen the link between partners.

Conflict resolution: Secure attachment couples are much better at resolving conflicts. They are likelier to listen empathically, communicate successfully, and collaborate to find a solution that benefits both partners.

Improved mental health: Secure attachment couples have better mental health. Compared to insecure partners, secure attachment couples are less anxious, depressed, stressed, and more resilient to life’s obstacles.

Couples counseling at Loving at Your Best in New York City, secure attachment can be used as a model for marriages and love relationships. Partners build a bond founded on confidence, safety, and mental security. Couples can work with one of our expert therapists to improve their communication, emotional support, and trust to establish a secure attachment. Emotional intimacy, dispute resolution, and better mental health are all advantages of secure attachment in marriages and love relationships.

Emotional availability is a critical component of secure attachment. Partners can be present and sensitive to each other’s feelings and respond to each other with warmth and support. When both partners are emotionally available, they can strengthen their emotional bond and feel more secure.

Our therapists may use emotionally focused therapy, schema therapy, and Gottman Method Couples Therapy to help you and your partner become more emotionally accessible to each other. Exploring previous emotional experiences, identifying patterns of interaction, and practicing new methods of expressing emotions can help both of you create more security in your relationship.

What builds security in your relationship?

How do you develop more security?

The ability to soothe and comfort your partner is another essential element of secure attachment. How do partners accomplish this? Partners can offer mental support and reassurance to your companion when they are stressed, anxious, or upset. Both partners in a secure attachment can depend on each other for comfort and support.

Our therapists may also use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in couples therapy and schema therapy (ST) to help you as a couple to develop more effective coping methods for stress and anxiety. Partners work to identify negative thought patterns, practice relaxation methods, and create better stress management strategies.

Creating a secure attachment in a marriage or love relationship takes work. Couples may need to work through past traumas, handle communication problems, and make behavioral changes. On the other hand, the advantages of a secure attachment are well worth the work. Couples can establish a more fulfilling and satisfying marriage by developing a solid emotional bond based on trust and support.

Secure attachment can be a practical paradigm for couples therapy. Partners can create a more robust and healthier connection by identifying attachment styles and improving communication, emotional support, and trust. Couples can work through their problems and create a more secure attachment with the help of one of our skilled therapists, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying marriage or love relationship.

Couples in therapy can learn to identify and express their wants and needs to their partner clearly and directly. Partners work to communicate without being critical or defensive, as well as empathically listening to your partner. Paying attention to what the other partner is saying, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting on what you’ve heard in terms of content and especially emotionally, are all examples of empathic listening.

Couples can also create a secure attachment style by learning to be more emotionally available to one another. Examples are being present at the moment, tuning into your partner’s feelings, and responding with warmth and support. Emotionally available partners can share their emotions and be vulnerable with each other, which can aid in the development of a stronger emotional bond.

Couples can improve their emotional availability in marriage therapy by engaging in mindfulness activities such as deep breathing or meditation. They can also focus on understanding each other’s emotional needs and learning how to respond with empathy and compassion.

Trust is another critical component of a secure attachment style and a healthy marriage. Couples can foster confidence by being dependable, consistent, and accountable to one another. They can also try to restore trust if damaged by past experiences.

Couples in therapy can learn to trust each other by establishing clear boundaries, being honest, and following through on commitments. They can also work on closeness and intimacy by planning positive events and activities together, like enjoyable date nights or action-filled vacations.

Finally, couples can create a more secure attachment style by learning to soothe and console one another. Partners can offer mental support and reassurance when the other partner is stressed, anxious, or upset. Couples can learn to soothe and comfort each other by empathically listening to each other, showing empathy and compassion, and validating each other’s emotions.

Overall, working towards a secure attachment style in marriage therapy necessitates being ready to be vulnerable, communicating openly and honestly, and working on trust and emotional intimacy. Couples can learn how to develop these skills and establish a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship with the assistance of one of our skilled marriage and couples therapists.

When finding a romantic partner, people with a secure attachment style search for specific characteristics in their prospective partners. Trust, emotional openness, and a feeling of safety and security in relationships characterize a secure attachment style. 

Starting with a secure attachment

What do partners with secure attachment styles look for when dating?

First and foremost, those with a secure attachment style seek emotionally available companions. They want someone who can be vulnerable and open about their feelings and react to their partner’s emotions with warmth and support. This emotional availability is essential for developing a solid and long-lasting emotional bond.

Reliability is another essential quality that those with a secure attachment style look for in a partner. They want someone they can count on, keep promises and be there for them when needed. The sense of dependability contributes to developing trust in the relationship, a fundamental attribute for partners with a secure attachment style.

Potential mates with a secure attachment style are attracted to supportive and validating companions. They want someone to listen to them without judging them and to give them encouragement and praise when needed. This validation helps partners develop feelings of self-worth and confidence, which is essential for partners with a secure attachment style.

Compatibility is another crucial quality that partners with a secure attachment style seek in a partner. They seek someone who matches their values, interests, and life goals. This compatibility contributes to harmony and understanding in the partnership, essential ingredients for developing a strong emotional bond.

Finally, people with a secure attachment style prefer partners open to working on their partnership. They seek out people who are dedicated to developing healthy and enduring emotional connections and are willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work — a key sign of mental health we call frustration tolerance. This desire to work on the relationship contributes to a feeling of safety and security, which is essential for people with a secure attachment style.

People with a secure attachment style can choose partners with different attachment styles. In reality, those with a secure attachment style can establish strong and long-lasting emotional bonds with partners with different attachment styles. On the other hand, building a strong emotional connection with partners with insecure attachment styles may take more work and effort. 

Partners with a secure attachment style prefer partners with certain characteristics, such as emotional availability, dependability, supportiveness, compatibility, and a desire to work on the relationship. By selecting partners with these characteristics, those with a secure attachment style can create a strong and enduring emotional connection based on trust, openness, and a sense of safety and security. Finally, the key to finding a romantic partner is to find someone who can provide the emotional support, validation, and understanding you require to feel satisfied and happy in the relationship.

Reserve your time now to see an expert couples therapist at Loving at Your Best by tapping the image above

Author

  • Travis Client Portal

    Travis Atkinson, founder of Loving at Your Best Marriage and Couples Counseling, brings three decades of expertise to relationship healing. Mentored by pioneers in schema and emotionally focused therapies, he's revolutionized couples counseling with innovative approaches. Travis's multicultural background informs his unique view of each relationship as its own culture. He combines world-class expertise with genuine compassion to guide couples towards deeper connection.

    View all posts
Share This :

126 Responses

  1. Terrific work! This is the type of info that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my website . Thanks =)

  2. Бренд Тиссо — известный Швейцарский производитель часовых часов, который известен своим первоклассным качеством и уникальным дизайном. Уже более 150 лет компания создаёт престижные часы, что пользуются доверие по всему миру.
    https://tissot.icefashion.ru

  3. Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  4. I’ve been browsing on-line greater than three hours today, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It’s beautiful price sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made excellent content material as you probably did, the net might be a lot more useful than ever before. “I thank God for my handicaps, for through them, I have found myself, my work and my God.” by Hellen Keller.

  5. O Cupom da Vez é um aplicativo inovador que permite aos usuários ganhar dinheiro extra ao avaliar produtos e cupons em categorias como vestuário, eletrônicos, itens domésticos e muito mais.

  6. I think this is one of the most important information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The website style is great, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

  7. Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..

  8. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem with your site in internet explorer, would check this… IE still is the marketplace leader and a big element of people will pass over your wonderful writing because of this problem.

  9. Hi, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!

  10. Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, good blog!

  11. Along with almost everything which appears to be building inside this specific area, a significant percentage of points of view are actually very stimulating. Nevertheless, I am sorry, because I do not give credence to your entire theory, all be it refreshing none the less. It seems to everybody that your commentary are generally not completely rationalized and in reality you are generally your self not really totally confident of your point. In any case I did take pleasure in examining it.

  12. Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is very cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What an ideal website.

  13. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and will come back someday. I want to encourage you to continue your great work, have a nice weekend!

  14. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You clearly know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  15. Some truly superb articles on this website, regards for contribution. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” by Cicero.

  16. I truly enjoy examining on this internet site, it has got great blog posts. “A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself.” by Samuel Johnson.

  17. I discovered your blog site on google and check a number of of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. Looking for forward to studying extra from you in a while!…

  18. I am only writing to let you know of the beneficial discovery my friend’s child had reading your site. She noticed several things, with the inclusion of what it is like to possess an incredible teaching spirit to make the rest without problems comprehend a variety of impossible topics. You undoubtedly did more than her expectations. Thanks for offering these useful, trustworthy, educational not to mention cool thoughts on that topic to Tanya.

  19. I¦ve been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site. Studying this info So i¦m glad to exhibit that I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I such a lot indubitably will make sure to don¦t disregard this website and provides it a look regularly.

  20. Hmm it appears like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips and hints for inexperienced blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  21. Do you have a spam problem on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; we have created some nice methods and we are looking to exchange strategies with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  22. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  23. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  24. I’ve read some excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot attempt you put to create such a great informative site.

  25. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  26. What¦s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & aid different customers like its aided me. Great job.

  27. My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  28. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any solutions to stop hackers?

  29. I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  30. I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Fantastic work!

  31. Hello, i feel that i saw you visited my blog thus i got here to “return the want”.I am attempting to in finding issues to improve my website!I suppose its good enough to make use of some of your ideas!!

  32. Undeniably believe that that you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the net the simplest thing to take note of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while folks think about worries that they just do not recognise about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , other people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you

  33. It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m happy that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  34. Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a great website.

  35. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

  36. Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  37. Hi , I do believe this is an excellent blog. I stumbled upon it on Yahoo , i will come back once again. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and help other people.

  38. What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & help other users like its aided me. Good job.

  39. Hi, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!

  40. I don’t even understand how I ended up here, however I assumed this post used to be great. I do not recognize who you are but certainly you are going to a well-known blogger if you happen to are not already 😉 Cheers!

  41. My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a variety of websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

  42. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossips and internet and this is really annoying. A good site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this website, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can not find it.

  43. I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thank you, I?¦ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?

  44. You can certainly see your enthusiasm within the paintings you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  45. My brother suggested I may like this website. He was once totally right. This post actually made my day. You cann’t consider just how a lot time I had spent for this info! Thank you!

  46. I’m not sure exactly why but this blog is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  47. I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway
    keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare
    to see a nice blog like this one today.

  48. Some genuinely fantastic articles on this internet site, thank you for contribution. “Give me the splendid silent sun with all his beams full-dazzling.” by Walt Whitman.

  49. I haven’t checked in here for a while because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  50. Hello There. I discovered your blog the usage of msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to learn more of your helpful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

  51. Hi there, just turned into aware of your blog through Google, and located that it’s really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful should you continue this in future. Many folks can be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  52. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  53. I have been surfing on-line greater than 3 hours lately, but I never found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did, the net shall be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  54. Neotonics is a groundbreaking probiotic supplement designed to address both skin aging and gut health concerns. This innovative product combines potent bacteria with nine natural ingredients to target the root causes of aging skin and digestive issues, promoting a healthier, more youthful appearance.

  55. I think other website proprietors should take this website as an model, very clean and great user genial style and design, as well as the content. You are an expert in this topic!

  56. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this brilliant blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  57. When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

  58. It?¦s really a great and useful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  59. Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is awesome, nice written and include almost all vital infos. I would like to see more posts like this.

  60. LovingAtYourBest encourages embracing one’s true self much like the outlaw josey wales costume represents a bold unapologetic persona. Just as the costume symbolizes resilience and independence in the Western genre, embracing your best self means confidently showing up with authenticity and strength, ready to face any challenges with style.

  61. I beloved up to you will obtain carried out right here. The caricature is tasteful, your authored material stylish. however, you command get got an edginess over that you want be turning in the following. ill no doubt come further until now again since exactly the similar nearly a lot steadily inside of case you shield this hike.

  62. An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Post

Call Us Now!

Verified by MonsterInsights