Two people enter into a marriage because of love, but not everyone stays that way, especially after a few years of being together. Monotony and predictability can start to impact the relationship and many people find themselves stuck in a loveless marriage. But why do people stick with this kind of situation? Are you curious about how to live in a loveless marriage?
If you are in this situation, or you know someone who is, take some time to learn about what you can do about your situation.
What is a Loveless Marriage?
When two people choose to marry each other, it’s because they have a unique love and bond towards each other. When that love is gone, neither of the spouses feels loved or cared for by the other. Living in a loveless marriage feels more like being with a roommate who comes and goes without a care for you, or your welfare.
There are several reasons why a marriage could become loveless. It could be that one or both has fallen out of love. It could be that their careers have forced the marriage to take a backseat in terms of their priority. Financial stress can also result in a loveless marriage. It could be triggered by specific incidents such as a cheating spouse, which has triggered resentment and has strained the relationship to the point of no repair. Or, it could be that you simply grow apart over time.
How to Live in a Loveless Marriage?
There is no easy answer to this question. It’s a situation that is unique, yet sadly experienced by many. There are ways to cope with this situation and you need to adapt according to what applies to you.
Build a life for yourself. If you have accepted the reality that you are in a loveless marriage, it is important to start building a life for yourself. It does not mean, however, that you must cut out your partner from your life. It simply means pursuing things that give you joy and happiness rather than focusing on what’s wrong with your marriage. Find a new hobby. Do something productive. It helps to shift your focus and give you an emotional break from the distress caused by your loveless marriage.
Change your environment and your approach. If you are still hoping that you can turn your marriage around, this is a good way to go about it. Change the way you think and act. You need to start changing how you treat your partner too. Hopefully, it will inspire something in them to rethink how they act towards you. This could trigger a pattern of positivity within your home and in your marriage.
Show gratitude. It’s easy to fall into a negative spiral when you are living a loveless marriage. But instead of focusing on what’s lacking, think about what you currently have and show gratitude for it. For example, if you have children together, focus your attention on them and how you can make their lives better. This shift in mindset will bring you more happiness than you would imagine.
Grow your friendships. One of the best answers on how to live in a loveless marriage is to stay connected with your friends. Your circle of friends provides you the moral and emotional support that your spouse might be unable to provide. Choose to spend time with people who add value and meaning to your life so that you can cope with a loveless marriage.
What Makes People Stay in a Loveless Marriage?
There are several reasons why people choose to stay in a loveless marriage. Children are one of the obvious answers. When couples have children, they tend to live together even when there is no love between them anymore. It can be challenging to live without love when you have children. It requires cooperation, agreement, and structure. Otherwise, the constant arguing and seeing you in a state of unhappiness might do more harm than good to the children.
Lastly, some people cling on to the possibility that their marriage can be saved. Divorce is a long, tedious, and emotionally draining process. Therefore, some people would rather hang on to the marriage until they no longer can. It also means giving a loveless marriage a chance in the hopes that they can make something out of the little love that is left between them.
Should You Stay or Should You Leave?
This question must be answered on a case-to-case basis. Every marriage is different. However, even loveless marriages can be saved, so do not give up so easily on yours. Your current situation might seem bleak and hopeless.
There are a few things you can do to take your relationship in the right direction. But first, you need a game plan. Make sure that you are both on the same page on what you want to do with your marriage – to leave or to stay.
It starts with spending more time together. Make it a priority. Let your spouse know that you mean it. Next is to lay off the criticism. If you agree to save the marriage, you have to look past the negatives and focus on trying to make things better.
Lastly, you need to seek out professional help. Make sure you get a counselor that is experienced in handling troubled marriages and relationships. A professional is someone with the expertise and the experience in dealing with these situations. They can provide you with an objective assessment of your relationship and help you build a blueprint towards saving your marriage (if that is the path you’ve chosen).
It is important to note that seeing a professional is not like a magic formula that will save your marriage and erase all of your past problems. Even if you have decided to work on your loveless marriage, it will be like starting over again. You have to work through it on a daily basis. If there are any issues, make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your partner so they can be resolved before they become more serious. At the end of the day, the marriage is still about you and your spouse and no amount of professional help can save it if you are not invested.
