All married couples go through a rough patch. Whether it’s serious or not, it is important to address the problem quickly. Undergoing couples counseling is one of the solutions available for couples that require professional help or intervention in their marriage. If you’re curious about how effective this method is, you’ve come to the right place. Take a look at the pros and cons of marriage counseling and what you can do to make it work.
What Are the Pros and Cons of Marriage Counseling?
Many married couples opt to undergo counseling in an effort to save their marriage or to work out the issues that are plaguing their relationship. Seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor or therapist is often the last resort when all other solutions have been exhausted.
But did you know that there are pros and cons to marriage counseling? Before you give it a try, it is important to know what this process entails, especially since it will be an investment of your time and money.
The Pros
There are plenty of benefits that you can get from choosing couples counseling as a solution for problems within your marriage. Learn more about some of these benefits.
Scientific-Based Approach
A marriage counselor uses personality assessments and other methods of testing to analyze the behavior of every individual. This will help them fully understand why an individual behaves a certain way and its link to the issues plaguing your relationship.
These tests can also provide insight as to how the married couple can develop a better sense of their communication style to avoid conflicts in the future. Meanwhile, you can use it to learn about the different ways to build a stronger foundation to your marriage.
Discuss Marital Issues Objectively
When you argue at home, there is a tendency for married couples to resort to blaming the other for the conflict. In the heat of the moment, you can let your emotions take over and you end up saying hurtful things to your partner as a result of it. This approach does your marriage no good; in fact, you might even be diverted from the real cause of the fight.
When you enter into couples counseling, you enter a neutral space. The counselor can facilitate a neutral ground from where you can discuss your marital issues without blaming one another. You will be given a platform to share your feelings and frustrations. This approach will help you move past these feelings and frustrations so you can better handle conflicts in your marriage.
Therefore, the focus should be on resolving the conflict and not to pinpoint who’s to blame – which is mostly what happens when couples fight.
Intervention
Resolving conflicts and saving your marriage is something that requires proper timing. If you wait too long, you may have already built up separation between you and your spouse to the point that there is no saving the marriage. Counseling offers intervention when you need it most.
There are instances when couples refuse to have counseling since they are in denial about the problems in their relationship. But it is a necessary step if you are incapable of handling issues on your own. A counselor can intervene and make a positive impact in your relationship.
Bring Unseen Issues to Light
The end goal of counseling is to strengthen the relationship by improving the way you communicate and resolve issues. It can also uncover unseen ways of interaction while encouraging each party to bring their buried anger to light.
By bringing these issues to the surface, you can address them and discuss them openly. It is beneficial for any committed relationship so that you can resolve them before they develop into something serious and damaging.
The Cons
As with anything, couples counseling can have its downsides too. These are some of those you need to know about.
It’s Not for Everyone
It is not a magic pill that can transform marriages. Its success also relies heavily on the married couples’ willingness to make their relationship work. If both parties do not follow through with the action plan recommended by a therapist, then it won’t work. It requires both people to put in the same level of commitment to bring a positive change into the relationship.
It is Not a Quick Fix
Couples counseling is an intervention, but it won’t resolve your issues overnight. It takes time, and you might even have to show up for several sessions. Not all couples have the patience to push through with this process.
The Outcome Could Be Different From Expected
Not everyone responds to counseling in the same way. It is not a guarantee that the marriage will work. In some cases, the outcome is totally different from what you expect going into counseling. Make sure you manage your expectations.
How to Maximize the Benefit from Marriage Counseling
There are a lot of couples who have this aversion to seeking help from a marriage counselor. They have this notion that the relationship is already on the brink of divorce the moment you seek professional help. However, this is not always the case. Even couples who are in a happy and healthy marriage may seek counseling if they have fights or issues to be resolved in their relationship.
There is a huge difference between advice from your family and friends versus couples counseling. Unlike a couples’ counselor, your friends and family are not experts. Sure, they may know the dynamics of your relationship, but oftentimes the suggestions made by your friends and family can complicate things further. The worst thing that could happen is if your friends and family take sides.
On the other hand, a counselor will provide a neutral and objective point of view of your marital issues. Their goal is to resolve issues without bias or judgment. If this sounds like the solution you need, you have to learn to work around the cons of counseling so you can maximize the benefits you get. The pros and cons of marriage counseling is just proof that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to resolving marriage problems.
