How to Have a Happy Marriage

It sounds cliché, but all romantic relationships go through ups and downs. For a marriage to be successful, you need more than love. You need commitment and the willingness to adapt and change for the other party. More importantly, you need respect. Whether you are starting out in your relationship or you’ve been together for more than a couple of years now, there are things you can do to build a stronger and healthier relationship. While long-lasting marriage seems elusive, it is not rocket science. As a matter of fact, you can boil down the most important aspects into just three things. What are the some of the most important things to make a marriage happy?

Marriage statistics

With the complexity of human emotions and tons of other variables, marriage remains one of the hardest things to keep in life. In the United States, marriage rates have been in consistent decline in the past years. The data from the National Center for Health Statistics shows marriage rates have drastically dwindled from 6.9 to 6.1 marriages for every 1,000 individuals – the lowest rate ever recorded in history.

Subsequently, almost half of all marriages in United States will end up in divorce or separation. While there are definitely many different reasons for this, it is clear that many still want to get married. But, since long-lasting marriages are becoming rare, how can married couples ensure theirs don’t end up as another statistic?

Each individual is unique, thus, every couple is different. While there is no one-size-fits-all formula for a happily-ever after kind of relationship, there are some common denominators in all successful long-term marriages. So what are the 3 most important things in a marriage?

Three most important things you should do for a happy and long-lasting marriage 

Most people view marriages as an art form, and think that successful couples have mastered the art of keeping each other happy and satisfied. While art imitates life, marriage seems to be trickier than that. A recent study on “happy marriages” published by Cornell University shows that, despite the numerous variables that exist in every relationship, there are common traits found in most successful marriages. They used this as the formula for a happy marriage.

Keep an open line of communication

As said in the research, communication is key to making the relationship last. Most of the participants in the survey said they believe most problems couples face can be solved by simply keeping an open line of communication. On the other hand, they believe dissolved marriages are primarily caused by a lack of communication.

Thus, talking with your spouse is by far one of the best things you can do for your marriage.

Obviously, open communication means being honest with your feelings, all while being respectful. Part of good communication includes being a good listener too, and taking time for what your partner has to say, wants, and needs from you.

Open communication means talking often, not just about the usual things like house and work responsibilities, kids, and bills. Share your feelings, thoughts, dreams, aspirations, fears, etc. Listen with the intent to understand, not just for the sake of listening. Be a patient listener.

Knowledge (of one’s self and of each other)

Knowing yourself, what you want from life, your goals and aspirations, you want a partner who understands you and conforms to what you deem important. While marriage is a union of two unique individuals, you want to have a common ground to start a solid foundation.

Knowing each other on a truly deep level is vital for a successful marriage. While it is important to have a good idea of what lies in the future for you and your partner (and your relationship) for a successful life together, having an intimate understanding of each other is important to keep your marriage strong.

It is the responsibility of each of you to know your partner on a deeper level; know what they love and hate, what they want from life, etc. Often, some of the answers you find become make-or-break factors for compatibility. Thus, it is extremely important to know exactly the person you are marrying or married to.

The best way to get to know each other on a deeper level is to share experiences together. This is why it’s a good idea to wait until you share lots of life experiences together before getting married.

Nevertheless, you can never go wrong by marrying someone who is generally similar to you in many ways. While marriage is difficult, it can be so much easier if you are with someone you share the same interests with, the same background, orientation, dreams, and goals in life.

Commitment 

Both you and your partner should see and treat your marriage as an unbreakable and lifelong commitment.

While there’s absolutely no surefire way to eliminate the possibility of divorce altogether, the research from Cornell University shows that people in successful marriages consider their marriages as more than just a binding contract that lasts for as long as the passion does. Rather, they view it as an unbreakable lifelong commitment they need to respect and uphold, even if things go south for a short term.

There will always be dry and unhappy periods. The key is to find ways to stick together and resolve these problems.

Subsequently, older couples see their marriages as a discipline. Like becoming athletes, martial artists, and musicians, there is no such thing as perfection. You learn every day; you sacrifice short-term gains for a rewarding future.

Parting words

Expressing love on a daily basis can go a long way, so does showing respect. Respecting each other’s qualities, thoughts, dreams, and capabilities means you accept and admire each other’s differences. Respect helps you listen to and appreciate each other’s opinions, overcome disagreements, and challenges, and more importantly, be there for each other.

Again, there are no hard and fast rules for a successful marriage. However, there are certainly tested-and-proven guidelines that work every time. There will be lots of times where your marriage will be tested, but if you follow these guidelines, you will surely overcome any challenges together.